Mixed feelings

She said she is not afraid, but I know she’s lying about it. I mean, everyone lies, like when you first meet your father in law and he asks you about your day job and you tell him that it is nice indeed but you have greater plans, when the actual truth is that you hate that fucking IT position but you’re too lazy now to look for anything better. There you go. Liar. But that’s not what I’m talking about, lying to father in laws is ok by some yet-to-be-written moral.

She said she was not afraid. She looked into my eyes and said “I am not afraid”. Can you believe her? She should be afraid as hell, I mean, you don’t go buy the test after being worried for two months if you’re not afraid. You don’t do the test on your own, secretly. You don’t get the results and prepare yourself for a week before bringing it up to - how they call this? - your partner. You don’t do any of this unless you’re frightened to your last bone.

Well, at least that’s how I feel.